In simple terms, I struggle a lot with not being perfect. I would say I’m a perfectionist in terms of my work, looks, and life in general. I thrive to have my life live up to what I envision in my dreams. It may sound ridiculous, but it is really hard for me to try not to be perfect. I feel like people would be lying to themselves if they said, I don’t want to be perfect. I don’t want to have a life like somebody else. I think everyone goes through that phase of learning to accept themselves for who they are. It takes a really long time. Over the years, growing up and experiencing so many new things, I haven’t fully yet come to terms with the conclusion that, my life isn’t what I envision it to be, or what I want it to be. I want to do so much, but internally, I struggle through so many different battles. Whether that is learning to accept that my skin will never be clear. I will never not have acne. I will never not have my pores open. I will never not have my acne scars. I’m no rich girl who can easily get laser surgery or some sort of medical process to get rid of my acne scars and pores. The fact that I can’t have clear skin, is my daily struggle of learning to live with the fact that, I am not perfect. My body is the second thing. I have stretch marks. I have discoloured skin. I have a random line scar that goes through the middle of my stomach, preventing me from wearing any sort of crop top because it’s so noticeable. The struggle of not having a perfect body, defeats me every time, and makes me feel miserable. I don’t have the career that I want. I want to be an actress and a model. How do I get there? No clue. I don’t even have the simple criteria needed to be an actress like clear skin or a nice body. I’m even too afraid to tell other people I want to act/model, because I’m afraid of judgement. Afraid that people will say “well if she can become an actress, so can anyone.”
All of these things are what I have constantly told myself over the years. It got to a point where I became such a negative person. My every thought, action, and emotion was so negative. I’m not writing this blog post because I need to preach “no one is perfect and we need to accept that” motto, but I am writing it to say, I am in the same boat as you. I know somewhere, people feel the same way I do. It is okay to accept the fact that you are not perfect. It is okay to accept that maybe right now, you aren’t doing what you want or like, but one day you will get there! Don’t be afraid to accept the fact that you aren’t perfect. It is a daily struggle for me still, to not be the way I want to be. But I am learning and growing. Accepting the fact that even though my life isn’t where I expect it to be, I am still going to push through. Because that is life. We have our ups and our downs. We feel hopeless and lonely. But you have to push through for yourself. Life is too short to be bottled up with regret and perfection. If we continue to strive for perfection, we will never be happy. But if you continue to work at it, step by step, I know WE all will one day get to where we want to be. It will always be a struggle to not have what we want, but know that, you aren’t the only one in the world feeling this way. Someone is going through the same thing as you, and if they can push through, so can you. You are all so strong and beautiful, and together we can make it.
All opinions are mine. Thank you so much for reading. I know this was a very heavy blog post to read, but I hope that this helps some of you.